Newsletter: Forgiving Yourself and Others
Moving On with Compassion and Self-Care
Due to the Northeast Blizzard, especially in Boston snow will be 3 feet, keeping me here in D.C., we will not be having our regular Wednesday livestream this week, but we will be having a special livestream on Friday, February 27th, with recent Scientology defector Amir Essalhi. Feel free to bring your questions! Last week’s regular livestream can be seen here if you missed it.
I’ve just had an incredible weekend, speaking at the three-day Principles First Summit in Washington. D.C., where I got to meet most of the amazing luminaries who were there, too. Among them, to name just a few, were Lieutenant General Mark Hertling, Adam Kinzinger, and Joe Walsh. Many thanks to the executive director of Principles First, Brittany Martinez, who invited me. It was so inspiring to meet so many activists- and almost everyone raised their hands when asked when I did my panel, who had relatives and friends in MAGA, so they were eager to hear from me and Leaving MAGA founder, Rich Logis.
Moral Injury and Healing
One of the most difficult things facing cult survivors is not just the trauma of what was done to them, but also, tragically, the memories of what they did to themselves and others while under the control of their cult. From recruiting other people into their destructive group to cutting off family members who wouldn’t join, the moral injury and sense of complicity in the cult’s actions can keep former members from healing completely.
This week’s article for our paid subscribers, “But I Did Terrible Things in The Cult,” is a part of our ongoing Freedom of Mind series, which covers fundamental concepts on cults, recovery, and undue influence. In this week’s installment, we’ll look at:
What is a moral injury?
How the system made you complicit
The many manifestations of shame
What healing from moral injury looks like
If you’re not already a paid subscriber, now is an excellent time to become one. Paid subscribers gain full access to our resources, which include comprehensive guides, expert interviews, and informative articles, such as:
Rebuilding Your Identity Post-Cult - a guide to understanding the dual identity model and practical exercises for reconnecting with your authentic self after exit.
What Cult Survivors Wish Therapists Knew - if you are considering working with a therapist, this piece outlines what cult-informed care should look like and what gaps to watch for.
The Anatomy of Love Bombing - understanding how love bombing works as a recruitment technique can help survivors contextualize both their own recruitment and the recruitment they may have carried out.
Recovery from Cults
In my latest episode of my Cults, Culture & Coercion podcast, Restart and Restore: A Journal for Survivors of Manipulation, I sat down with my friend and colleague Rachel Bernstein, LMFT, MSEd, to discuss her recently published book of the same title. We discussed the importance of taking the time to heal, the effects of digital media on education about cults and cult recruitment techniques, the downsides of cutting contact with families, and the joy of helping others break free from unethical manipulation.
Listen on Apple | Spotify | Watch on YouTube
Read my Substack post about the interview:
Restart and Restore: A Journal for Survivors of Manipulation
And last but certainly not least, the interview I did for Trevor Noah’s What Now? podcast back in December is now live! “Are You in a Cult and Don’t Even Know It?” has just been posted; Trevor and I, along with his friend and co-host Eugene Khoza, talked for almost two hours. Trevor was fascinated by my story and asked a lot of important questions, and I did my best to not only explain but connect the dots to our current moment in America. It was an interview filled with comedic moments, if you can imagine. Come check it out, like, comment, and share.
As always, please let us know what you think about these pieces or what you’d like to see us discuss in the future. Thanks so much!
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