Deconstructing Christian Nationalist Upbringing, Alt-Right Doctrine, and Abusive Religious Parenting

With Monte Mader

Monte Mader grew up in a Christian Nationalist family where indoctrination and abuse were ever-present. She was raised under strict religious teachings of intolerance, covert racism, and homophobia but now has moved on to live her life on her own terms and her own beliefs. Along the way, with help from friends, she learned techniques for examining ingrained extremist ideologies. She now shares the deconstruction of her childhood and aspects of her healing journey in several venues, including a new memoir she’s working on. Her experiences are also reflected in her music as a “Rocky Mountain rock artist” living in Nashville, Tennessee. She writes songs and performs with her band, The Big Sky. She is so talented and is an inspiration.

I became a fan of her powerful voice as she eviscerated the lies of Christian Dominionism, nationalism, and the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) using her knowledge of scripture and Christian ideologies. She has over a million followers on Instagram as a “former alt-right Christian nationalist,” sharing her artistic talent and complex views to dispel widely believed radical Republican doctrine. She brings this knowledge forward and finds ways to bridge communications from her upbringing within a controlling but also highly influential alt-right family from Wyoming.

Growing Up with Christian Nationalism on a Wyoming Ranch

Monte grew up in a very strict religious family on a cattle ranch in Wyoming. Her mother left when she was just six years old, leaving her with a strong patriarchal father who then leaned even more heavily into fundamentalism. He wouldn’t allow her or her siblings contact with their mother. Her remote upbringing included attending an elementary school named after the Heritage Foundation and founded by her grandfather. He made her memorize the Bible which she can quote accurately.

Her skill for language was notable, however. She says she taught herself how to read at age four. Although his original aspirations for Monte were for her to be a housewife, her scores on testing had him thinking of a different future for her. Once her father realized how intelligent she was, he began molding her for constitutional law, envisioning her on the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade. Her father was friends with Dick Cheney and served in the State House of Representatives. After her High School graduation at age 16, he agreed to allow her to attend Liberty University, Falwell’s private institution. Here, Monte had an opportunity to explore various topics for the first time. “I was away from my dad’s thumb. I started to think on my own. I started to build friendships, so I ended up doing all four years there because I didn’t want to go back home,” she said.

Deconstructing Christian Nationalist Beliefs

In addition to being away from his constant indoctrination, Monte also attributes her ability to deconstruct her beliefs about Christian Nationalism and particular phobias to friends who would offer gentle questioning about her ideologies. “I had a confederate flag key chain on my backpack that I carried the first few months at Liberty until a friend of mine pulled me aside, and he’s like, why do you do that?” she said. While she had considered it on talking points of “state’s rights,” she had never thought about how it would make someone who was black feel. Her friend offered her an alternative view of the key chain, and she ultimately decided to remove it.

She also described how sitting in a room with the pregnant 12-year-old half-sister of her fiancé at the time, who had been raped for 3 years by an adult man, changed her mind on topics of abortion. She recalled taking the young girl to a class on pregnancy filled with teens who were expected to alter their life’s course to raise a child, while most of the adult fathers of the pregnancies weren’t even present. “I had been told my whole life that pregnancy from rape doesn’t happen, that it’s a lie the Democrats make up so that they can kill babies,” she said.

She added that she was forced to confront a belief system taught to her that said these girls “should be more responsible,” meanwhile being faced with the idea that adult men were the ones who impregnated them. As she began researching facts about abortion, she came to realize that most of what she’d been taught was untrue. “That was the one card that fell, and then everything else fell down with it,” she noted.

Music and Finding Freedom from Childhood Trauma Bonding

Memorization was a big part of Monte’s childhood relationship with scripture and verse. She recalled her father requiring her to learn the whole song before singing it while also bonding over music. “One of the reasons that my dad and I were so close was that we shared music. He taught me how to sing. I grew up singing in nursing homes with my dad, so I know a lot of music from the 40s and 50s. The first song I ever sang in public was Daddy’s Hands to a Nursing Home,” she said. However, other memories of childhood include extreme corporal punishment, parental alienation, and having a perceived “checklist” to being well-behaved for her father.

She also remembers being told she was overweight, with occasional bouts of starvation diets being inflicted on her. Memories of this came flooding back to her, and they were confirmed with another sibling while she was visiting her childhood home as an adult. She developed anorexia. We talked about how cults are classified as a Dissociative Disorder in the DSM–5 as brainwashing, thought reform, and extremist cults. Trauma can cause dissociation and memories not in consciousness. Mind control is best understood as a disruption of identity. For those born into authoritarian families, it is nearly impossible to develop a healthy sense of self until exiting that environment and experiencing healthy relationships.

She noted that with the death of her father when she was 25 years old, she felt both shattered and able to be genuinely free, reconnect with her authentic self, and regain her body intuition. “Also, despite all the abuse, he was still my best friend. I loved my dad,” she recalled. Despite noting the “chokehold” that he had over her life, she said his loss was a profoundly challenging experience. I explained that this is known as trauma bonding, not Stockholm Syndrome. Her father had alienated Monte and her siblings from their mother, so she was raised without her mother.

Helping Others Find ‘Normal’ Through Psychoeducation

As we were wrapping up our discussion, I shared with Monte about some of the techniques that have helped clients who were born into abusive religious cults, political cults, therapy cults, and more. I shared that because they don’t know what normal looks like, psychoeducation is imperative. “What does healthy parenting look like?” “How do healthy people do conflict resolution?” “Treating each other as equals” is key.

Additionally, I shared that the power of playtime, creativity, and exposure to people outside of a family’s religious culture can be impactful. Monte agreed and noted that having a band member whose parents have become involved in supporting members was helpful. It has been wonderful to experience healthy communication and conflict resolution.

Monte and I agreed to talk more in the future about ways to wake people up and get them out of their silos of thought. Monte said, “I think that I’m already noticing that people are starting to wake up. And it’s different kinds of waking up. I see people who are in their deconstruction or on the path who are starting to get more vocal, which is wonderful because that’s exactly what we need, but also people who have been deeply entrenched and deeply harmed, starting to ask questions.”

Resources:

Monte Mader

Monte Mader (@montemader) • Instagram photos and videos

Monte Mader | Accurate History. Deconstruction. Current Events. | Patreon